"Never in my twenty years. . ."

. . .saieth the Dentist, the dentist's receptionist and the dental hygienest. . . "Have I ever seen anything like this or even close to this."

Of course not, because Ryland has only been around for four years, and Bristle Blocks they have only been around for - well, I guess forever, huh? I wonder if Bristle Block Headquarters has any pictures like this on file?

So, this morning the older boys and I were plugging away on History, when a frantic cry came from the room where our two little guys were playing. "Mommy, I grthr sthuck in mthr outhh - owie!!" Since extracations are not a new thing in our home, I calmly closed up the book and set my coffee cup in the kitchen, all the while noticing that the cries were from real hurt and not just the average annoying delay in someone's play. Ryland, using a Bristle Block handle as a microphone, somehow got his lip stuck in the block.

Stuck, stuck.

I could not pull it off without tearing his lip. So, I called the extra hands to go for ice {thinking I would numb it myself and gingerly try to free his lip}, the camera and the phone. My first thought was to take a picture, e-mail it to my EMT husband and have him tell me over the phone what to do. After seeing how bad this really was I knew I needed extra hands to help, so I called and asked him to come home and help me free Ryland from his toy.

I panicked, when Mr. Do-It-Himself told me to immediately take him to the Emergency Room.

Then I thought how unrealistic it would be to have Ryland in his current state, plus 3 other children hanging out in the E.R. waiting for who-knows-how-long to get this toy off of his lip. {Note to others: I certainly am not endorsing not following your husband's advice. I should have listened, I know, but I knew Bob wouldn't mind if we swung by Dr. O'Neil's office on our way to the E.R., if necessary}

Then, Ry suggested our wonderful dentist, Dr. O'Neil. Ryland's idea seemed to be brilliant, and Dr. O'Neil is a brilliant dentist and now brilliant "Lip Extractor". I wonder if he'll put that on his new business cards??

After numbing his lip and working hard to seperate the toy from Ry's lip, he was free. And all I could think of on our ride home was the Veggie Tales song "I love my lips" and I still have that song stuck in my head. Check out Josh and the Giant Wall if you don't know what Veggie Tales DVD I'm referring to. We may end up buying it, just for posterity! :-)

The short ride back home was just long enough for a bit of reflection.

Tarver: "Of course this would have to happen during History, and not math!"

"Ryland, did you learn anything from your little adventure today?" A weary, thankful Mom asks her son.

"Yep. I learned that you should sew Dr. O'Neil a super-hero cape, because he saved my lip!"

"Anything else, son?" Mom asks, hopefulness in her tone.

"That I should not put that green Bristle Block in my mouth anymore."

{That's what I was sort of hoping for}

Since we only have 141 other Bristle Blocks in our house, I should just be thankful that he won't be putting that particular toy in his mouth anymore. I'm also thankful that we were able to make so many people smile today. Dr. O'Neil didn't even charge us, he just wanted to take a few pictures, for future reference. He could hardly say good-bye, he was trying to hold the laughter back. And as we drifted out of the office, I heard "Never in my twenty years have I seen anything like this...or anything even close to this."