Can it be?

**Warning: I'm about to go very sentimental on you here!**

Can it be, really?

My first born?

My enthusiastic, experimental-first kindergartner?

Can it be that just yesterday {wasn't it?} you were practicing printing your name on dry erase sheets?

{Do you remember, Boo, how you would practice so diligently, carefully, and excitedly on your name? Even backwards you could do it! And always wanting to write your little brother's name, too. You never wanted to leave him out.}

Those were the days of tanks and stick people. Of begging to start 'school' at 5 a.m. Of size 12 boys' shoes, catching butterflies all afternoon and an infatuation with light sabers.

Did it really go that quickly?


And now I find myself forced to erase the memories of those sweet days, this precious treasure from the past that I uncovered this morning as I'm preparing to begin a new year and add a new 'student'. Remember those carefree days? When you loved to need your Mommy.

And now the eraser, to make room for more memories, as your baby brothers come up behind you.

In a few weeks these sheets will once again bear army guys and guns and sequences of

Rs, ys, ls, as, ns, ds labored over by small hands

trying to do it just like his biggest brother.

Will I ever forget how sacred it was the first time, with you, scratching letters out together, learning together, starting this homeschooling journey together?

Erasing is bittersweet. I already dread the last time I will have to erase these writing sheets. Already that day feels as if it is looming quickly.

How many times have I wished I could hit the "pause" button in this adventure called Mommyhood? I'm sure God sees fit that we don't have the choice to pause for long, as then we would linger in this world far longer than He wants us to.

And we would delay enjoying beautiful things. Such as your handwriting, turning into script. You, transforming into a young man.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be present for so many things in the lives of my sons. I even thank you, Lord, for times of 'erasing'. Praying that through erasing and moving on, we have indeed been growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior.

{Kleenex, please!}

{This week I have dedicated myself to planning, cleaning, organizing, praying and yes, it looks like some crying, as we prepare for our new 'school' year which starts in 12 days!}